Mary

Every Christmas since I have been pregnant Mary fills my mind. I can so relate to this young woman, wondering why God chose her. Scared of just what the future holds for her, Joseph, her baby and her family. Not knowing the details of God's plan but just trusting he is good and faithful. I can almost feel her doubt, did the angel really appear in front of me. I can feel her fear, what will I tell Jospeh, my parents, EVERYONE!!! I can feel her pain, pregnant and riding across the country on a donkey (OK, I haven't really had that experience). I can feel her faith, love, patience, surrender, wonder, excitement, amazement.

Do you think she doubted at times? Do you think she was fearful? Do you think she was ever mad at God? Did she wonder if he had forgotten about her as she had to give birth in an old, cold dark cave? Do you think she had feeling of inadequacy?

I LOVE Mary and I love what she teaches me about being a woman, being chosen and being faithful. May this Christmas remind you that the simple became sacred and it can continue to today.

STOP, LISTEN, WAIT...HE IS COMING.

Birthday Suit & Hairbows

Evalyn is now 6 and a half months old and I took some fun pictures of her today. The light coming in her bedroom window was reflecting off her amazing blue eyes and perfect skin (yes, I am jealous of it). She was having a ton of fun with Mama's attention and making silly faces.

Peek-a-Boo with Beckham & Christmas Preview

One of Beckham's favorite games is to play hide and seek in our curtains. He giggles so loud and melts my heart.

And here is a little preview of one of Evalyn's 3 Christmas outfits. I LOVE having a little girl!

Just a few...

I really need to update on all the changes that the kids have been going through. It really has been amazing me everything they are learning. But for now a few adorable pictures will have to do...

Christmas Cards

It is that time of the year again, CHRISTMAS! My dear friend Sarah has already been celebrating in her decorated house for a month and is making me feel behind! I haven't decorated my house or gotten a tree but I am starting to plan my Christmas cards! I LOVE everything about Christmas Cards. I love picking out and editing my pictures. I love spending hours finding the perfect card. I love thinking of and praying for each family as I address them. The only thing I don' t love about them is licking the envelope. Anyone want to take over that role?

This year I am planning on using Shutterfly for our family card. They have so many options, you can pick their cardstock option for a custom feel and they are so affordable! There are so many adorable ones I am not sure which one to choose. Here is a preview of some of my favorites.

Card #1 - http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/cards-stationery/charming-gift-wrap-christmas-5x7-folded-card?sortType=2&fa=2&storeNode=93496&fb=1&fc=2

Card #2 - http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/cards-stationery/full-of-love-christmas-5x7-folded-card?sortType=2&fa=2&storeNode=93496&fb=1&fc=2

Card #3 - http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/cards-stationery/good-blessings-religious-christmas-5x7-folded-card?sortType=2&fa=12&storeNode=93496&fb=1&fc=2

Aren't they amazing?!?!? Now, which one will I choose? You 'll have to look in the mail to find out!

Halloween 2010

This year was so fun! It was Evalyn's first Halloween and she was all smiles. Beckham LOVED going to trick or treat at our neighbor's house. He said "or treat" at each house, admired and hugged their pumpkins and tried to go into their houses. We went to a few houses and he said more and giggled. We came home and he ran to the door and said hi to each trick or treater while he ate his suckers. It was such a great day and the kids looked adorable!

One of my favorite things about being a mom is that I get to see things through the eyes of my kids. I believe that this is the way God wants us to view life. Beckham feels everything so much... excitement, joy, frustration, love. At the slightest bit of attention Evalyn smiles. She loves when Beckham looks at her and showers her with kisses. God created little girls to be that way. To want to be delighted in with love and attention, what a blessing I get to be the one who does it!

What are your kids teaching you about God today?

Briana's Third Birthday

Briana...

Just her name makes me cry. I cry because I love her. I cry because I miss her. I cry because I just want to see her and hold her again. I pull into the Incarnation Cemetery where she is buried and immediately my eyes are watering and that lump is crawling up into my throat. It just is always going to be that way. And that is OK with me. I have stopped trying to wonder when/how things will change and now just accept it for what it is. My beautiful beloved firstborn is in Heaven. Really, she is pretty fortunate. There are days that I wouldn't mind joining her.

Dirk and I celebrated Briana's 3rd Birthday this week. It was the first time ever that we didn't celebrate it on the 21st and that was really hard on me. We chose Friday because we had help with the kids and I had the time that I wanted to give to our little girl. It was nice to remember and talk about her. We left her 3 roses, I for each year and looked at her scrapbook. It is so hard to have loved and lost so much. 

I just love where we buried Briana. It is quaint and peaceful. It has a pond with a path around it. There is a fountain in the middle and weeping willows that blow in the breeze. Briana is buried under a tall pine tree, this is where Dirk and I will be as well. I love the small little chapel like building and the benches.

I love everything about it...except that Briana is there. Then came Saturday morning and once again God just met me where I was. I am doing a bible study with 2 dear friends and Beth Moore's   session was about how God brings beauty from the ashes. He was speaking directly to me. Basically whatever we suffer here on earth is 10 minutes compared to eternity. We are doubly blessed for whatever loss He allowed. I will take doubly blessed even though I don't know what that looks like, it sounds amazing. 

Beth just confirmed that not everything happens for a reason but that God can (and will) if we are open to it, use all things to glorify Him. He may let certain things happen because He will use it to glorify Him, further the kingdom or lead us to our calling. Just let that soak in for a while...

What a beautiful addition to Briana's story and her legacy. I pray my passion/purpose/calling in life is refined by my daughter.  Precious Briana, I am selfish and really want you here, but know Heaven is far better. For now I will remember and wait...see you soon little one.

 

Evalyn

It is hard to believe my sweet little peanut is almost 4 months old! Time has gone by so quickly and at the same time it's hard to remember life without her. She really is a momma's girl which I am loving (except when I need to take a shower or go grocery shopping). I can totally see why parents spoil their youngest child, I just don't want her to grow up! Yet as an oldest and because I adore Beckham so much I am going to do my best to ensure they are treated fairly.

Some of her favorites (and mine) right now are:

1. legwarmers - the brighter and crazier the better!
2. breastfeeding - the bottle isn't going so great and the poor grandma's are having to suffer
         through some tears.
3. The Moby - it really is the best place to take naps (besides our bed)
4. Bathtime- she splashes and smiles the entire time. Maybe she is going to be a little fish like I was
          and Beckham is.
5. Talking and shouting - she makes these high pitched sounds all the time, it's gotten really loud
6. Sucking on shoulders- I call it "the mark of Evalyn". It's proof that you've held her
7. Her Tiny Love Mobile - Even when she is grumpy she will be hypnotized by this miracle for
          about 10 minutes (just enough time for Momma to get ready).
8. Beckham  - he is definately one of my favorites too! She loves just watching him play and he
          has been kissing her and bringing her balls to play with. They sat together on his chair
          today, adorable pictures coming soon!
9. Bows - I just can't get enough and thank God she still has some hair to put them in
10. Attention- poor second child is thrilled when someone smiles and talks with her.

She is able to push herself up with her arms when she is on her tummy and has discovered her hands. Although not a fan of tummy time she is getting better and much stronger. Last week we tried the Bumbo and both Evalyn and Beckham has been enjoying it. I just LOVE being a mommy to a little boy and little girl. It really is the best and I am often overwhelmed with all I have been blessed with.

Apple Orchard

Here are a few of my favorite shots from Emma Krumbees. We spent last Sunday morning there and Beckham had a blast!

Boys Weekend at the Cabin

A special part of Dirk's childhood was spending time in Grand Marais at his parent's cabin. This fall he took Beckham with him to stay with Nana Ghlee and Papa Bob.  Dirk also got a chance to play with his new lens and I got a chance to do some fun editing...I love photography.

What People Say

Precious Evalyn, what we hear most about  pretty blue eyes and crazy hair (I blame your dad for that one). You make people smile wherever you go as they comment on how tiny and delicate your features are. 

But what I love the most is...

your smile.

Easy and Hard

As a mom of 2 little ones people often ask me how I am doing. Well, not just like that, it's more like they say:

"Wow, you must be busy!" of "You really have your hands full!"

It seems to change moment by moment as to how I want to respond. Sometimes I feel like I have it all under control and then Evalyn needs to eat and Beckham won't eat (he is going to food therapy by the way). The other day I went upstairs to find Beckham feeding the dogs all the treats from the jar and had them in their kennels. Yes, sometimes it's  a little out of control at my house. Most days it's wonderfully chaotic and I wouldn't change it for anything.

Then there are times I feel like this...

or like this...

How about you?

Sarah's Retired

It is official, I have relieved Sarah from her duties of photographing my family. Although I may call in a favor every so often (Sarah, don't put the camera away just yet). So I contacted a woman from Craigslist that does wedding photography and is getting into newborn. She came to the house and did a great job capturing my little girl at 8 weeks.