Evlayn Day 6

Evlayn is now 6 days old and I can't believe that she has only been in our lives for such a small time. Poor little thing, she has spent her first week in the Special Care Unit. It is amazing how far she has come and how small and perfect she is. The newest update is that she is a great little breastfeeder! She has gone from taking in 4ccs to 38 ccs in 48 hours which has shocked everyone. Evlayn has been on and off oxygen but no longer has an IV.

I am so in love with my little girl. She has tiny feet with really long toes, fuzzy soft brown hair and loves to suck on her pacifier.

It really has been a week of ups and downs (I will blame it on the hormones). I am overjoyed that she is here and will have a full recovery, yet I wish she wouldn't have to go through any of this. I am enjoying my special one on one time with her, yet wish I had my family around me to enjoy her as well. I am missing my sweet Beckham, just the little things...the way he says u-go(hugo) in a really deep voice, gives sloppy kisses and his adorable chuckle. I miss rocking him to sleep and kissing his head and singing funny songs to entertain him.

God has been revealing so much to me as I have been seeking Him. As I was praying for Evalyn I asked God to protect me and to show me that she would be alright. I then waited and God showed me Evalyn laying on her tummy with a wing around her. There was stuff falling on the feathers and making it dirty but it couldn't get to her. She is protected by the Almighty, the Creator of the Universe and the Loving Father that holds His children.

Later that night when I woke up to pump (yes ladies every 3 hours...I am sure you can relate) I would pray verses over Evalyn and felt such a peace about her. Then I would go back to sleep and have horrible dreams. Probably every horrible thing that could happen to me. Shooting pains in my incision would wake me up and then the horrible dreams would start again. I really felt that I was being spiritually attacked because of my prayers for Evalyn.

When I told Dirk about my dreams he told me the next night that there are 2 wings. One is covering Evalyn and one is covering me. God is so good and I have such a peace that under the wings of my savior I will be safe.

Holding my Babies

I will post some new pics soon but wanted to do a quick update. Evalyn is doing well. She is still in the Special Care area and has been on high flow oxygen for about a day. Today they heard a murmur in her heart and called the ped. cardiologist and did an EEG. Evalyn was totally at peace when she was being scanned and held onto the man's had as he went over her chest. It was so cute! Turns out a small ductus isn't all of the way closed but they are anticipating as her lung pressure increases it will heal itself...yea!!!

Last night was a hard one for me because I have 3 kids and didn't get a chance to hold any of them. Then came today :) My wonderful Dirk picked up Beckham and we were able to spend time together as a family. I already felt better, just going through some withdrawls from my boy. Both Dirk and I got to hold Evalyn today which always is healing for us. Now for the exciting news...

Tonight when I went down to say hello the nurse was real excited to show me Evalyn was breathing on her own! She was doing so well they let her try without any help and SHE DID IT! As long as she didn't get excited or agitated her rates were awesome! I got to hold precious Evalyn and really look into her beautiful little face. She liked snuggling with Mom and when I sang her songs her rates were so good!

We know that she will still need help and may have to still spend a lot of time over the next few days getting some more oxygen. What a gift God gave us, to be able to gaze and love on that little girl...she is even more beautiful without the tubes attached! Our journey continues filled with hope, love and the overwhelming presence of our Awesome God!

Wings around Evalyn and great pics coming soon...

Evalyn Joy

She is here! Evalyn Joy was born on June 2 at 7:25 AM. She weighed 6 lbs 11 oz and was 19 inches long with brown hair. She resembles her dad and her sister so far. It has been quite an up and down journey for Dirk and I in the past few days. We are so thankful that she is here and I am relieved that my job as the pregnant mom is finally done.

The c section went well and my recovery has been going great so far, but little Evalyn is struggling a little. She needs help breathing and has gone from an oxygen hood to a c pap to a ventilator to an oxygen tube in her nose back to the c pap. It is so hard to see her struggling when all we want to do is cuddle our little love.

I got to hold her for the first time today for about 45 minutes. It felt so good to have my little girl right against me and feel her fuzzy hair. I just an overwhelmed with love and filled with prayers for her. The doctors have told us that this is just a process and she will be just fine, but it's still hard to witness as a parent.

Here are some pictures of our family, big brother Beckham and precious Evalyn. Keep the prayers coming, I can picture God with his arms wrapped around her and breathing for her.

Changes

Her lungs are developed and we are all set to meet little Evalyn Joy tomorrow morning. It is so hard to believe tomorrow at this time I will be a mother of 3! Poor Dirk, I have definately been an emotional pregnant lady the last few days, I just feel like everything is changing at the same time and it is happening so quickly. Dirk and I have always done change all at once and God has blessed us beyond what we could have asked for each time. I know that this will be no different, but it's still hard.

I found out that my company is doing layoffs on the 15th so I may not have a job to go back to. It has been hard saying goodbye to my partners who are now dear friends. I don't want another job, I don't want to interview or even think about any of this. So I'm not going to until September (if I have to)/

I have also been really emotional about my special time alone with Beckham has come to an end. I totally delight in that little boy and like a typical mom think everything he does is precious. Last night I tried to explain to him how much I love him and even though we won't have as much time together I still love him the same. He looked at me very seriously and then pointed and said "door". Pretty sure he will do just fine.

Tomorrow is the big day! I will get to meet sweet Evalyn and hold her in my arms and kiss her tiny lips. I CAN"T WAIT!!!! Thank you for all of the prayers that you have said for my family over the last 9 months (actually 3 years). Evalyn is my second little girl, but the first one that I get to bring home. What a beautiful journey we have been on and tomorrow starts another amazing chapter...tears of joy, uncertainty and love.

Beckham

I can't believe in a week Evalyn will be here! I can't wait to hold her in my arms and kiss her head and tell her how much I love her. And at the same time I find I am mourning the idea that Beckham and I won't have as much one on one time together. I just adore that little boy and know that my time with him is so special! He has been learning so much lately it has been amazing both Dirk and I. He says tons of words: mama, dada, bird, dog, woof, tree, more, no, let's go, door, ball, wawa (water), baby. He can point to all different body parts and knows the sounds that dogs, cows, cats and birds make. Dirk has been working with the monkey sound and I asked Beckham the other day, who makes a monkey sound (I actually did the noise) and he proudly said DADA!!! Dirk and I are so amazed that such a beautiful precious little boy is ours! Here are a few photos from Mother's Day. My next post will be of our family of 4!!!!!

Silly Girl

I love Dr. Brown! I quite possibly have the best OB imaginable. After 1 call this morning she said to come in for a biophysical profile and NST to make sure baby is OK. I didn't have to argue or fight to have the care I need, she just does it and makes is so easy for me. What a blessing!

Praise God, Evalyn is doing well. I saw her moving all around the ultrasound but didn't feel any of it. Why you ask??? She is positioned with all of her arms and legs smooshed right into my placenta so it absorbs all of the movement. I did get a good look at her grabbing her toes and of course her hands were right up by her face just like her big bro. The NST was great we got 20 minutes of good monitoring and her heartrate was right where it should be.

She had her shoulder pressed right up on the cord insertion site into the placenta so that may also explain her hiccup episode the other night, she was compressing the cord herself.

Thanks for your prayers, love and support. Next Monday Dirk and I meet with Dr. Collins in New Orleans to take a good look at Evalyn and her cord. And 10 weeks from today and we get to celebrate Evalyn's arrival...can't wait to hold my little girl.

Peace, Joy and then Saturday...

On Thursday evening I host some a bible study with some AMAZING women from my neighborhood. All of us have young families and so I have to admit that our 10 week study we thought would be finished by Christmas is looking more like Easter at this point. I adore these ladies and their prayers changes lives...mine was changed on Thursday. God spoke to me and told me that Evalyn (Baby Girl Hanson now has a name!) is going to be OK. He said, "I am watching her for you." I also saw Jesus full of joy interacting with her and he showed me how when I monitor he is giving me proof that he is doing a good job watching her each day.

What would you do you do when God is resting his hands on your tummy and talking to you? I cried and let go and was immediately filled with peace. A joy has been radiating in me since then like I haven't felt since before Briana died. I found myself giggling (OK...Sarah, Katie and I did get some great shopping time together so that might have been a little part of it!)

Then came Saturday and today...why is Satan so annoying?!? Evalyn is moving different, really different than she has before and having tons of hiccups. It makes me nervous, actually terrified that she isn't OK. God just told me she was OK and 2 days later I am at Fairview Southdale trying to track my little girl on the monitor...so frustrating!

So as of right now I am praying to get an ultrasound tomorrow to see how she is doing and if the cord is wrapped or being compressed anywhere. I go to see Dr. Collins a week from tomorrow and can't wait to have him look at my sweet Evalyn and how she is doing.

Why does Satan try to steal our joy and our peace? Why do we let him? Why is fulfilling the simple dream of having a few children so challenging for so many families? I have been repeating God's message to me..."She is OK, I am watching her" over and over again.

Why does June 2 seem so far away?